Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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