We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize