you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize