this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Houston, we have a blender
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
