I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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