I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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