Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
