Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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