So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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