I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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