I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
