We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
