One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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