Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
