OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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