He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
