so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
