i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
