I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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