Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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