new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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