i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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