YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
how drunk are you?
Several
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize