I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
