i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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