i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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