Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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