I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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