Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
