I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
