Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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