The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Farmville is her only friend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
