I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
