Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
