the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
