I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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