god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
