her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
