we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His hands were made for my vagina.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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