Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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