It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
