Me too!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
