Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
