try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
