your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
