Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
True college students do jello shots in the library
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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