Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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