Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
