I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize