dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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