I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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