just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
