would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
