you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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