youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
