what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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