So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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