So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
