I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize