We're facebook friends in real life
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
