I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize