Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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