I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
