So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
