We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
