so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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