That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
