Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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